Aug 8, 2006

A little about me

I thought I would share a bit about me. I will be 44 years old in a few days, on August 7th. I was born in Northern California and spent the first twenty years of my life living there. California can be very beautiful. It doesn't have the seasons like some of the other parts of the country, but we lived quite close to the ocean and made frequent trips to play in the sand and surf. Each day the fog had to lift so the mornings were quite comfortable and it never got too hot. We basically had two seasons: when it rained and when it didn't. Everyone thinks California is fairly radical and full of hippies. A lot of normal families lived there. Mine wasn't one of them!!!! My biological parents were quite young when they had me. I was twin B. My twin sister was twice my size straight from the womb and had a strong personality throughout her life. She died in 1996. Our biological parents tried to take care of us and found it impossible. They abandoned us and we went into the foster care system. Long story short we went through over five foster homes and an orphanage before finally getting adopted at age 10. Being adopted sounds like a fairytale dream come true. I'd grown hardened in the foster care system and I wasn't holding my breath for the cookie-baking mother in an apron. It was a good thing too because she was a true monster. She was physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive for the rest of the time we lived in her home. Years later when we left her home we were followed closely by a scalding cast-iron skillet with dinner still in it, which was thrown at the front door at the moment I yanked it closed behind me. Obviously I do not speak to her anymore. Obviously my life has been full. I've just touched the tip. I went on to marry a Navy man who abused me for seven years before I got the courage to leave him and take my little boy to safety. Domestic violence is not easy to handle and many women stay in the relationship a long time. I left him six times before I left for good. It took courage to live alone. I had to pull myself together and be willing to look out for my safety and my child. I was frightened at first and then later I felt empowered. All of these things pushed me to write. I wrote my feelings in journals, poetry, short stories etc. Over the years I have won some awards and contests for my poems online. My advice to those who have walked in my shoes:
share with someone you trust
reach out.
Do not hide away alone and scared.
Get help!

My foster daughter had another son on July 23rd. Now I have two grandsons. The picture above shows me holding Dawson. My other grandson Jaden is now 17 months old and quite a sweetheart.